Solidarity

Mental Preparations for First Surgery

I received many personal visits, phone calls, and emails from family and friends all over the world. One of my non-Christian friends, who describes himself as a “new age guy,” made the following brave and interesting offer of support:

WILL IT HELP IF WEDNESDAY I STICK SOMETHING LONG AND UNPLEASANT UP MY DICK FOR SOLIDARITY?

Clearly this was meant in jest and intended to be declined. I sent the following in reply:

“I have thought long and hard about this (no pun intended). Compared to New Age guy, the Christians have it easy. All they have to do is pray. You are the only one who ponied up such an offer. And I have to confess that, yes, it WOULD DEFINITELY make me feel much better and will help a lot. I suggest that you employ #2 pencil, brand new, eraser end first. And feel free to use the lube of your choice. And lots of iodine solution to guard against infection and provide that nice, deep burning feeling. Just thinking about it makes me feel better now!”

When the time came, I’m pretty sure my buddy “forgot” to do this. In fairness, since I was to be under general anesthesia, a reasonable supportive position would have been to drink until you couldn’t feel anything!



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